Dear God Why Us Sports

It's funny what a difference two weeks can make in the NFL.  Yesterday's selection of team captains for the 2010 season should have been the simple end to a Bills offseason in which the team drew up a plan to attain their goal and end their streak of seasons without a trip to the playoffs.  Instead, it comes across as a fairly meaningless act following a month of turmoil and uncertainty for team with a season probably headed nowhere pretty.

Still, the players got together and decided that Lee Evans and Brian Moorman would be two of their team captains for the fourth year in a row.  Joining Evans and Moorman for their respective units will be second-year captains Trent Edwards and safety George Wilson.  Linebackers Paul Posluszny and Kawika Mitchell will captain the defense.

If I there's something worth reading into any of these selections, it's the choices on defense.  Noticeably absent from the captainship are defensive end Aaron Schobel and safety Donte Whitner.  While they certainly haven't been big playmakers in the last few seasons, Schobel and Whitner have been seemingly the most vocal leaders of the locker room from a spectator's perspective.  But beginning last year and through this offseason, both men have come under fire for not delivering on the expectations they helped build up through their actions and words (or lack thereof).

Could their really be a changing of the guard in the locker room?  Have I not just been apologizing as usual for Poz?  Remember, this is a guy whose real rookie season was last year.  Maybe he'll never be the Urlacher-caliber linebacker we were all hoping for physically, but perhaps he's ready to be closer to it mentally.  If there were one unquestionable leader, holding the defense accountable and truly leading this team on the field (which there obviously hasn't been the last three years AND YES, DICK, I'M INCLUDING YOU MOST OF ALL IN THAT HEAD COUNT), then maybe this defense will actually be able to make some of those big stops we've needed at the ends of games over the years!!

[Sidenote: I will probably be typing in ALL CAPS every time I talk to Dick this year since I can't even imagine talking with him without shouting in his face.  I mean... You're gonna cut Langston Walker, then offer a contract to basically the same guy, but not until Tuesday, cuz then his contract won't be guaranteed through the season, so instead you're gonna send some poor rookie out to slaughter, care of one of the nastiest d-line's in the NFL?  Say what you will about their linebackers and secondary, that d-line still has Ty Warren and Vince Wilfork.

(AP) - Bills backup tight end Derek Fine and nickel cornerback Drayton Florence are likely to miss Buffalo’s season opener Monday night at New England.

Fine has been nursing a hamstring injury, while Florence injured his knee in the Bills’ second preseason game against the Chicago Bears. Both players were held out of practice on Friday.

Reserve defensive tackle Spencer Johnson was limited in practice on Friday for the second day in a row because of a bruised thigh, but coach Dick Jauron said he’s hopeful Johnson can play Monday.

The Buffalo Sabres locked up their first round draft pick, Tyler Myers, this past Tuesday.  The 19-year-old, 6-8 defenseman signed a three-year deal potentially worth $2.6 million.

It sounds as though they won't make Sabres fans wait very long to see him as he's been playing very well in the Western Hockey League.  He helped lead his Kelowna Rockets to a WHL Title with 5 goals and 15 assists.

Darcy Regier and the Sabres were also impressed with his regular season numbers (42 points in 58 games).  "He is a big, strong player who has excellent hockey skills for a 19-year old player," Regier said.  "We’re glad to have him signed and look forward to his continued development both on and off the ice."

Hopefully Myers can help lift the Sabres' defense which was lacking at times last season.

What won't need any help are the Sabres' season ticket sales.  Multiple outlets are reporting that the Sabres have a staggering 94% renewal rate among season ticket holders.  Buffalo sports fans ... don't worry about treating us well.  We're gonna show up anyways!

Meanwhile, team owner Tom Golisano is moving to Florida.  Apparently Golisano and his billions are fed up with New York state's high income taxes and so he's decided to move to Naples, Florida.  The move will save Golisano $5 million in taxes.  Now if only he would take that money and use it to put a hit on Larry Quinn.  A good, clean hit that wouldn't lead back to him...

I'm only sort of joking.

Earlier in the week I mentioned that Trent Edwards and Lee Evans were going to take batting practice before last night's Blue Jays/Yankees game at the Rogers Centre.  Well I'm happy to report that our man in pocket, Trent, drove two pitches out of the park.  Evans was unable to match him, but joked later that he's "never been a strong hitter, I just use my speed and be an athlete out here."

[Editor's Note: In the interest of fairness, or just so everyone out there knows the whole truth, Trent's experience wasn't so great at the Roger's Centre.  This was his attempt, and I mean to use that word, at throwing out the first pitch.

In other Bills news, Chris Brown reports that Pisa Tinoisamoa visited the Bills yesterday.  A six-year vet who led the Rams in tackles last season, Tinoisamoa played in a similar Tampa 2 defense that the Bills (poorly) use.

Apparently they heard me complaining about reports that DiGiorgio was being asked to learn all three linebacker positions.  Assuming the Bills pull the trigger on Pisa, which would put DiGiorgio and Ellison back in their proper place as back-ups, the Bills might finally have a linebacking corp. that can make some plays ... just don't ask them to get sacks.

And last, but certainly not least, egomaniac/sack-machine/dancer-amongst-the-stars/guy-you-love-to-hate Jason Taylor has resigned with the Miami Dolphins.  The unbelievably phony Taylor said, "My heart has always been in Miami, and so I’m truly excited to call myself a Dolphin once again..."

...except for when I skipped training camp after they got a new GM & coach, demanded a trade, signed with Washington, only to get injured, dumped and tossed a pity contract from a team I carried and bitched about for the majority of my career.  But yeah, I'm psyched to play with the Dolphins again.  I mean, they did win eleven games last year, right?  Ok, then I'm ready to play...

Good to have you back, Jason.  You suck.

- Apologist